Introduction
The caller described her son as currently being supported by mental health services and receiving depot medication to assist with the management of his condition. Although she did not live with her son, she identified herself as his primary source of emotional support and described the experience of supporting him as a continual rollercoaster of emotions.
Supporting a loved one experiencing mental ill health, suicidality, or alcohol and other drug (AOD) challenges can be rewarding, challenging, and life changing. Families and friends often provide care, encouragement, advocacy, and practical support, while navigating their own experiences and wellbeing.
The voices shared here come from people who have supported a family member, partner, friend, or loved one through difficult times. These lived experiences offer valuable insight into the realities of caring, supporting, and walking alongside someone on their journey.
To protect privacy and confidentiality, all names and identifying details have been changed.
This safeguards both the family member or friend sharing their experience and the person they support.
By sharing these experiences, MHFFTas help shine a light on the challenges they face, the supports that make a difference, and the gaps that still exist. Their voices play an important role in advocating for better policies, services, and supports for families, and friends.
These experiences help inform governments, service providers, and decision-makers about what is needed to better support families and friends. Together, these voices contribute to positive change and a more responsive, inclusive, and compassionate system for everyone affected by mental ill health, suicidality, and AOD challenges.
Please Read Before Continuing
The Voices of Families and Friends stories are powerful accounts of lived experience. They speak honestly about the challenges, grief, trauma, and resilience that can accompany supporting a loved one experiencing mental ill health, suicidality, alcohol and other drug use, family violence, or other complex life circumstances.
Because these stories are shared authentically and in the storytellers’ own words, some readers may find the content distressing or triggering. We encourage you to prioritise your wellbeing, read at your own pace, and seek support if needed.
Thank you for approaching these stories with care, respect, and compassion.
If you need support, please reach out to these support services.
Discharge inpatient mental health facility.
A family member requested support through the Call2Connect program seeking support regarding the proposed discharge of their adult son from an inpatient mental health facility.
The caller was distressed and expressed significant concerns about her son returning to the family home. She reported that her son had a long history of mental health challenges dating back to childhood, including a suicide attempt at a young age, and had since been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Although he had access to NDIS-funded supports, he was reportedly unwilling to engage consistently with support providers.
Support was provided to explore the caller’s concerns and discuss options available to her. The caller stated that she did not feel able to support her son at home and was concerned for her own safety and wellbeing if he were discharged back to the family residence. Information was provided about communicating these concerns to the treating team and advocating for discharge arrangements that considered both the consumer’s needs and the family’s capacity to provide support. Information about Legal Aid was discussed as a potential avenue for advice regarding housing and tenancy matters. Self-care strategies were also discussed. The caller was advised to contact emergency services if her son returned home and she felt unsafe.
The caller expressed a desire for advocacy and described having extensive documentation relating to her son’s mental health history. She was invited to provide relevant information that could assist in better understanding her circumstances and inform service improvement activities.
During the discussion, it became apparent that the caller had not been informed about the availability of family peer support while her son was an inpatient. This represented a missed opportunity for earlier engagement, emotional support, and information sharing during a particularly stressful period for the family.
A follow-up from phone call from MHFFTas occurred after the son’s discharge from hospital. The caller was provided with an opportunity to debrief about the experience and discuss the outcome. This experience highlights the challenges families can experience when supporting a loved one with severe and enduring mental illness, particularly during periods of hospital admission and discharge planning, and reinforces the importance of family-inclusive practice, advocacy, and timely access to peer support services.
System failures in responding to child-to-parent violence
This case study describes the experiences of Iris and her daughter Karleen, illustrating how severe mental health crises, family violence, and fragmented service responses can intersect to produce sustained human rights harms. It frames their story in relation to systemic gaps identified in MHFFTas’ Family Violence Submission and critiques the difference between policy intent and lived reality.
“Victim-survivor safety is paramount. Safe at Home employs a pro-intervention policy which is supported by a human services response for the benefit of victim-survivors, children, and perpetrators of family violence.” Those two sentences from the Discussion Paper are not abstract policy ideas for Iris, they are the promise she has needed from the system while her daughter’s behaviour escalated into chronic and acute suicidality, self-harm, violent threats, and contact with dangerous adults. The paper’s commitment to coordinated responses and to centering victim-survivors is the framework Iris needed. In practice, the family’s experience shows where the current framework fails and where it must be strengthened.
Between 2018 and 2026, the family experienced serious and repeated mental health crises, escalating and repeated violence, and coercion by Karleen directed towards her mother, Iris. Police, NDIS and clinical care reports show cycles of self-harm, suicidality and severe mental illness in Karleen, alongside repeated episodes of physical assault, property damage, threats to kill, and weaponised accusations against Iris. NDIS progress reports list “verbal aggression, physical aggression, property damage, harmful sexualised behaviours, harm to self” and recommended intensive, sustained positive behaviour support and specialist mental health care.
Iris moved the family to Tasmania in the last school term of 2018, hoping for a fresh start. Karleen began at a new school and quickly became the target of persistent bullying. The school’s failure to intervene left early wounds. Karleen withdrew, expressed violent fantasies about the school, and the family’s sense of safety began to fray.
The years between 2019 and 2020 were marked by slow but steady deterioration rather than a single crisis. Karleen’s mood and behaviour worsened, with increasing social withdrawal, secrecy online and escalating emotional dysregulation. Iris worked a four-day week and spent days at home with Karleen, witnessing concerning behaviours but struggling to access coordinated help that addressed both Karleen’s and Iris’ needs.
2021–2022: Escalation of Mental Health Crisis
In 2021, two weeks into Term 1, Karleen self-harmed in the playground, became actively suicidal and developed anorexia. A GP made urgent referrals to paediatrics and a specialist service and advised an immediate change of school. Karleen was removed from the local school and enrolled in another school approximately one hour away by bus from both home and Iris’ place of employment.
Through political advocacy and persistent follow-up, clinicians diagnosed Karleen with ASD with selective mutism, PTSD, anxiety and anorexia, including cardiac compromise. Self-harm, hallucinations and violent ideation continued.
The new small independent school monitored Karleen’s safety but ultimately recommended home schooling because they could not keep Karleen or the other children safe around her behaviour. Iris began home schooling in October 2021 with paediatric support. NDIS support and carer allowances were granted during 2021–22.
At this time, Iris was in a new full-time regional management role but resigned in April 2022 because Karleen’s needs required her full attention. Emergency services became routine, with multiple 000 calls relating to severe self-harm, including cutting, head-banging and asphyxiation, as well as hallucinations commanding Karleen to cause harm and episodes of extreme distress.
Despite academic strengths through home schooling and positive community engagement, Karleen’s internal crises deepened. This period also revealed technology-facilitated harm. Karleen had been sending explicit images overseas using her school laptop. Police logged the images, but cross-jurisdictional limitations prevented charges from being laid.
The Escalation of Family Violence Towards Iris
2023: A Turning Point
2023 marked a turning point in the mother-daughter relationship. Karleen suddenly rejected Iris and the family pets after being told by people online, and by her hallucinations, that she was “a Mumma’s girl” and needed to stop.
Rage, verbal threats and violent behaviour were increasingly directed towards Iris and the animals. Online contact with older men continued. When devices were removed, Karleen accused Iris of abuse and threatened self-harm.
A NDIS support worker introduced Karleen to a man named Derek, and the relationship became inappropriate and complicated safety planning. Police advised Iris that unless Karleen, who was only 14, reported the abuse, they could not take action.
2024: Increasing Violence and Threats
In 2024, Iris attempted to return to work, where Karleen was provided with her own office so that she could remain with Iris. Karleen’s behaviour escalated to public self-harm, cough-syrup misuse and disturbing journal entries describing homicidal fantasies, cannibalistic and satanic themes, and detailed plans of violence towards Iris.
Iris photocopied the journals and reported them to police. The journal entries included a violent disclosure that Karleen planned to “stab Iris in the jugular 90 million times”. While police advised Iris to take this threat seriously as a risk to her safety, no support or tangible protective action was implemented.
As a result of the trauma, the growing sense of hopelessness and the systemic failures of services designed to protect them, Iris attempted to end her life on Boxing Day. The household’s trauma intensified, and family members became increasingly fearful for Iris’ safety.
2025: Physical Assault and Systemic Failures
Early 2025 saw a near-fatal overdose in April. In May 2025, following a mental health presentation, Karleen assaulted Iris, fracturing her eye socket.
Prior to the assault, police had been required to locate Karleen after she ran away. Paramedics assessed her as exhibiting signs of psychosis, which a service subsequently dismissed. Two Code Greys were called in the Emergency Department because of Karleen’s escalating violence towards herself and staff.
The service assessed Karleen as fit for discharge on the same day as the assault. This occurred despite the service knowing that Karleen had been aggressive and violent towards Iris and that Karleen felt intense anger towards Iris because she believed Iris had called the police and ambulance. Iris had also clearly told the service that she did not want Karleen discharged into her care because she did not feel safe.
Furthermore, Karleen’s support worker advised Iris not to bring Karleen home because of concerns for Iris’ safety and communicated those concerns to the service.
Respite placements and community supports repeatedly failed to prevent Karleen from fleeing, self-harming and engaging in violent episodes. Allegations against staff and subsequent investigations further undermined and disrupted placements.
Karleen attempted to return to school but threatened to blow the school up with staff and students inside, and to BBQ and eat them. She was asked to leave and returned to home schooling for the safety of both herself and others. Despite the seriousness of the threat, no follow-up care or specific consideration of Iris’ safety was implemented.
Karleen continued to cycle through substance use and violent outbursts. Police warnings were issued about known offenders with whom Karleen was associating, while hospital admissions required chemical restraint and increased antipsychotic management.
2026: Ongoing Risk and the Impact on Iris
By 2026, Karleen had experienced multiple hospital admissions. Nurses reported ongoing contact with known offenders while Karleen was an inpatient and contacted police on several occasions. Support workers advised that returning Karleen home posed a safety risk to Iris.
Communications from Karleen remained volatile, with expressions of love followed by threats and accusations. This created an ongoing pattern of emotional whiplash for Iris and continuing trauma for other family members, including Iris’ adult son, brother and sister-in-law.
Iris continues to live with the physical and psychological consequences of the assaults and the daily responsibility of assessing whether she and her family are safe.
The cumulative impact of years of mental health crises, violence, threats, service failures and systemic gaps has now brought Iris to an agonising and near-impossible decision: to relinquish the care of her daughter.
Iris believes she can no longer keep Karleen safe from the predators with whom Karleen insists on associating, while also recognising that the natural parental strategies of protection, boundaries and intervention have increasingly been met with abuse, threats and violence directed towards her.
For Iris, this decision is not a withdrawal of love or care for her daughter. It is the devastating recognition that she can no longer provide the level of care and protection required while also keeping herself and other family members safe.
Adult son, who lives with bipolar disorder and was experiencing a period of mania and psychosis.
A parent contacted the Call2Connect program seeking support regarding her adult son, who lives with bipolar disorder and was experiencing a period of mania and psychosis.
The caller described her son as currently being supported by mental health services and receiving depot medication to assist with the management of his condition. Although she did not live with her son, she identified herself as his primary source of emotional support and described the experience of supporting him as a continual rollercoaster of emotions.
Support was provided to explore the caller’s concerns and experiences as a family member supporting someone with a severe mental health condition. Psychoeducation about bipolar disorder was discussed, including information about common symptoms, presentations, and what may be considered typical during periods of illness and recovery. The caller reported finding this information helpful, as it provided greater understanding of her son’s experiences and helped to normalise some of the challenges she had observed.
The caller advised that there were no immediate safety concerns at the time of contact. Discussion focused on the impact that ongoing caregiving and emotional support can have on family members, and the importance of maintaining personal wellbeing while supporting a loved one. Self-care strategies were explored, and information was provided about resources available through MHFFTas, including the Self-Advocacy Toolkit.
This experience highlights the emotional impact that caring for a family member with a mental health condition can have, even when the person is engaged with treatment and support services. It demonstrates the value of providing family members with psychoeducation, emotional support, and practical self-care resources to increase understanding, build confidence, and support their own wellbeing.
